SILVERPOETS    -    WINNERS  CIRCLE                Page 14 July 2008: To B.D. (with Thanks) (A tribute to Bruce Dawe, Queensland's own poet, for his contribution to Australian culture) A poem should be savoured, like a fresh ripe peach or a juicy nectarine. Not gobbled down quick - (That slice of Queensland watermelon, the pips getting stuck in your throat). Writing so delightfully crafted, should be rolled 'round the tongue; Allow alliteration, to taste of lime carnation, and perhaps a slow marshmallow for the funny pun. Yes, a poem should be savoured; like a fresh ripe peach. But even as eyes discern, unimagined symmetry; the mouth shall remember fuzz and broken skin, and flesh torn by haste and lust. ------------------- by Miles Trench ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judge's comments: Likening a poem to a peach is an excellent analogy, showing the different sensations we can encounter. The rhythm in the poem is natural, and the alliteration not overdone - just a few instances like rolled 'round, fun/pun, and haste/lust. The phrase, to taste of lime carnation, takes the reader's attention, and slow marshmallow for the funny pun. As well as being poetic, the poem carries a message, a tribute to one of Australia's best contemporary poets. You can find some details at http://www.usq.edu.au/arts/community/ poetryprize/dawe/default.htm, part of which reads:- Widely recognised as Australia's most popular poet, Bruce Dawe was born in Fitzroy, Victoria in 1930 and was educated at Northcote High School, Melbourne. After leaving school at 16, he worked in various occupations (labourer, farmhand, clerk, sawmill-hand, gardener and postman) before joining the RAAF in1959. He left the RAAF in 1968 and began a teaching career at Downlands College, Toowoomba in 1969. He holds four university degrees (BA, MLitt, MA and PhD) - all completed by part-time study. An excellent poem that does the subject justice. Well done...................Dreamweaver --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12-8-08: Dear Dreamweaver Thank you so much for the honour of having, To B.D. With Thanks, appear on your web site.  It really is such a pleasure visiting the site ( the other nite i spent more than an hour reading the jokes and other submissions)............All the very best ........miles trench :) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 2008: The Apple Tree The apple tree sighed in the summer sun, she had lost all her blossoms so dainty, and now she had hundreds of hard little troubles, the bitter green fruit of her flowers, the hard bitter fruit of her flowers. She was not dismayed, she was not distressed, she could handle all of her troubles.  She would nurture them all with her own life force, and lift up her branches in gladness, to the sun and the rain in her gladness. But as the fruit grew it drew more and more on her reserves of strength and nourishment. Her branches bowed with the weight of her cares and green and sour was the product, bitter and hard the product. Still the sun shone and rain fell down on her, and her roots strained deep at the earth, as she nourished her fruit she was the more nourished, till she felt the sweetness of giving, the sweetness and ripeness of giving.                                                                                                                                                            ---------------- by Merri       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judge's comments: The personification of the apple tree works well, as an analogy of life's journey, where we can look back on our problems as having enriched our lives. I like the thought expressed in "her roots strained deep at the earth," The  rhythm in the poem is good, and the echoing of sound -  as in sighed/summer/sun. Echoing in the last line of each verse is also very effective. Good work!.................Dreamweaver --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to: HOME    Back to: Hobbies & Games   Back to: Silverpoets (13)    Forward to: Silverpoets (15)