 |
|
SILVERPOETS - WINNERS CIRCLE Page 22 January 2010 CHRISTMAS REFLECTIONS! I must be getting on a bit But I am not as old as some. I start feeling old Round close to Christmas time When I send my Christmas cards. Every year it seems, I've outlasted a couple more Of family, friends and loved ones Who have 'gone before', 'Passed on' or 'carked it'! Where they have all gone I just don't know, But I am a bit fed up With 'staying behind' uncarked, 'Cos the Christmas cards get fewer every year. I can imagine the year When I will get none at all Except possibly the Chemist shop And the nursing home They will prop it on my plate at dinner - saving postage! I'll bet all those who've 'gone before' Are having a jolly good party Somewhere in the clouds. Cake, pudding, pies and roastbeef And I've not been invited! So I sit here on my own Writing less cards every year But I think to be quite honest I'd rather be here and now I don't think "Silverpeers" is up there! -------------- by Dawn McDonald ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judge's comments: I really like the humour in this poem. The rhythm in it is great, suits the mood of the season, especially for those who spend it alone. It's ironic and humorous, but really about the social aspect of aging and consequent loneliness when friends are gone. The imagery is good, and we can feel the rather humorous acceptance. It's is funny, a bit wistful, very ironic and even envious until the last line where there is realization that this earthy life has its advantages! And I empathise like mad with the persona in the poem. Well done!........................ Dreamweaver --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 2010 Life is a desert, love quenches thirst…… We trudge through the sand in our desperate search for the ultimate oasis but we don't understand about mirages 'til we learn that LOVE is illusive, the prize so grand, sometimes out of reach, and so we yearn for the ONE that will be what we need, missing the small wonders each day seeds. The beauty of sunsets, the sounds of the sea, the glint of moonlight on a sleepy world; the touch of a hand, or a small child's plea; the beauty of a flower, newly uncurled from the bud it had been; the movement of clouds in a restless sky; the feeling of raindrops on the warmth of one's skin; we barely notice, and time goes by. There's love everywhere, if only we can see with the eyes of looking, instead of searching. If loving comes from US instead of WHO WILL LOVE ME, the drought will be broken; instead of yearning for illusions that become so grand, life and love will pass us by like the sand in the hourglass. It will slip through our fingers, and out of our hands… by................... Elizabeth-Anne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judge's Comments: The title catches interest, and makes a good opening to the poem. Near the end, just for clarity, I would prefer the addition of 'that' - " illusions that become so grand, that life and love will pass us by". The rhymes are unforced, sounding natural. There are words in the poem that really engage the reader - trudge, glint, and so on. The idea of life being a desert, which we could not survive without the 'water' of love, is novel and gives us something to think about. Although the poem is philosophical, we can imagine action, especially where our senses have been engaged - the sounds of the sea, the child's voice, the hand touch, the feeling of raindrops on warm skin. "It will slip through our fingers, and out of our hands..." - a good closure. Well done!.........................Dreamweaver --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to: HOME Back to: Hobbies & Games Back to: Silverpoets (21) Forward to: |